A Shift in Perspective

Cancer taught Jennifer Unger how to accept help from her community
By Dr. Jenny McCormack Walker

Jennifer Unger has always been a planner who likes to dive into the details. Multitasking is her superpower, and her visionary approach to leadership pushes her to think many steps ahead. A self-proclaimed type-A personality, Jennifer excels in her career as the executive director of the Texarkana Regional Arts and Humanities Council (TRAHC). However, a breast cancer diagnosis forced her to travel down a path filled with variables she could not control, and it often limited her from planning anything past her next chemotherapy treatment. She described her experience as a “complete paradigm shift” in the way she approaches life and service to others. 

photo by shane darby.

“I was a fairly healthy person,” Jennifer said. “This was a really big shock to me, especially considering I’d had a clear mammogram just a few months before I found the lump. I went from nothing in November to a seven-centimeter tumor in April. That just shows you how quickly this was growing.”

The days that followed included a visit with her doctor and subsequent mammogram, sonogram, and biopsy of the lump. A late-afternoon call from her doctor confirmed her fears: the type of cancer she had, HER2+, was aggressive, and she had already progressed to stage II.  She called her husband, Mike, and when they made it home that evening, they sat down to share the news with their teenage children, Tyler and Rebecca. 

“All of our lives changed from that one phone call,” Jennifer said. “When I told them, it became real. Everyone has a path in life, and this became our path. I knew it was going to change everything. We decided to hold on tight to each other and make it over this bump in the road.”

“We knew that whatever needed to be done just needed to be done,” Mike added. “During chemo days, Tyler took Becca to school. I was glad my mom taught my sisters and me how to cook, so that was never an issue. The idea of ‘that’s not my job’ did not exist with us.”

Tyler, Jennifer, Rebecca, and Mike Unger. Photo by shane darby.

It wasn’t only the immediate family that stepped up to support Jennifer. Mike’s sisters helped with the kids, especially during surgeries. Fellow members of Fellowship Bible Church  as well as Jennifer’s TRAHC colleagues rallied to support the Ungers. They also received local assistance from the Tough Kookie Foundation, Friends for a Cause, and cancer support groups. Taking advantage of such services was a new experience for Jennifer.

“It was a complete paradigm shift for me,” she said. “To go from being someone who loves to be in service of others to being on the receiving end was really hard. It broadened my perspective and was a good lesson for me.”

Jennifer underwent a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. Each procedure was accompanied by major complications.

“As we were leaving for one of my surgeries, Mike grabbed his first-aid backpack on a whim,” Jennifer recalled. “He’s such a good Boy Scout: always prepared. It was a good thing, because after they released me from the hospital, I started having issues before we made it home. He took care of me until we could get back to the hospital.”   

The complications she faced after her reconstructive surgery were much larger than a first-aid kit.

“For my reconstruction, I was in surgery for 7.5 hours and had two surgeons,” Jennifer said. “I was in the hospital for a full week, and they sent me home to recover with the help of home-health visits. I knew that I was in a lot of pain and having trouble breathing, but after you’ve had a surgery like that, you think it must be normal. When the home-health nurse checked my oxygen, she found that my oxygen levels were very low, and there were no breath sounds in one lung.”

Jennifer immediately went to the emergency room, where she discovered that her lung had collapsed and was filled with fluid and blood. They airlifted her to Dallas where she would spend the next eight days.

“I was really afraid,” Jennifer said. “We all were, but Becca tried to find the positive. She said, ‘Well, looks like you got to check “riding in a helicopter” off of your bucket list!’”

While it sometimes hurt for her to laugh, Jennifer said laughter was the best medicine, and her family offered it freely.

“Mike is so funny,” Jennifer said. “Humor is his love language, and he kept me smiling even in serious times.”

Although Jennifer and her family faced some of their toughest days over the last two years, they also saw many blessings unfold.

Jennifer during one of her chemo treatments. submitted photo.

“I’ve always been a woman of faith,” Jennifer said. “I have prayed more than I ever have through this. My children have seen the true impact it makes when people in our community step in to help. Little things that people did along the way showed us so much love and kindness. A friend from our church took Becca shopping when I couldn’t. People came over and mowed our yard. They sent DoorDash. They put together meal sign-ups and would call while they were at the grocery store and ask if they could pick up things for us while they were there. It’s hard to ask for help, but sometimes people just did things that they knew needed to be done. It made me look at giving with a completely different perspective.”

Jennifer’s cancer journey changed Mike, too: it deepened his admiration of his wife. 

“I knew she was a very determined and strong-willed person before this,” he said. “But seeing her cry and wipe her face and then say, ‘Okay, we are going to get through this,’ just makes me so proud of her. This amount of strength and resilience is something I haven’t seen in 24 years. I love her more than I ever have.”

photo by shane darby.

Jennifer recently completed her final round of chemotherapy, and she will need one more surgery before she can focus solely on her healing and recovery. She still feels the effects the disease and its treatments have had on her body—a metallic taste that does not go away, scar tissue, neuropathy, and exhaustion. The hair she lost has grown back with a different color and texture. For the rest of her life, she will face routine appointments, scans, and bloodwork to check for cancer—but she is grateful for preventative medicine. After all, early detection likely saved her life.

“Had I not paid attention to my body and immediately gone to the doctor, I would have had a very different prognosis,” she said. “Early detection is the key. If this helps even one person, I know I will have made a difference.”