*On June 23, 2020, Emily and her friends, Lia Graham, Charli Hueter and Johnni Hueter, enjoyed taking senior photos together. (Photo by Rachel Alison)*

*Now happy and healthy, Emily prepared for her senior pictures this past June.*

*After being released from the inpatient treatment program, Emily stayed at the Ronald McDonald House in Plano, Texas. Here, she weighed approximately 102 pounds.*

Emily Meunier is a senior at Texas High School with long blonde hair and lovely blue eyes. She’s soft-spoken but full of energy for life, enjoys sports, and loves being with her family and friends. She excitedly talks about the future and is looking forward to attending the University of Central Arkansas in Conway next year where she has already been accepted and plans to major in Psychology. This is a strong finish for a young lady whose start to high school wasn’t the case. Emily has overcome an obstacle many others like her face and has a positive outlook to share with others. This obstacle is the eating disorder, anorexia nervosa.

At the start of her freshman year in 2017, Emily began school like everyone else, enjoying herself by playing volleyball and spending time with friends. Shortly after Homecoming that Fall, she just wanted to lose some weight. Peer pressure and constant influence on social media began to affect the image of how she “should” look so she began dieting. That diet escalated months later into a very restrictive one where she was eating no more than 400 calories per day while also running three miles. She always enjoyed going running with her mom but began to use the exercise as a way of burning off every single calorie she ate. She says that it became almost like an obsession, wanting to restrict herself in order to lose more and more weight. She was compulsive about her diet regimen and what she ate every day. She drank only water, had a very small breakfast, and a dinner of only one meat and a vegetable. She skipped lunch altogether.

Much like obsessive-compulsive disorder, anorexia nervosa is an illness which has serious psychological and physical consequences. Emily refers to her behavior at the time as being very ritualistic in what she ate and when. She constantly wanted to be moving to burn off calories. She suffered like many anorexics with body dysmorphia, or the inability to stop thinking about flaws in one’s appearance. Body dysmorphic disorder is directly tied to eating disorders as it focuses on flaws they see in themselves. Anorexics tend to view themselves as overweight even though they are not and become compulsive about weight loss. Shame, embarrassment, and anxiety are just a few emotions which result from this altered form of self-image.

Emily’s condition deteriorated in the time frame of five months where she was faithfully monitoring her calorie intake and exercising non-stop. She even recalled countless instances when she couldn’t sleep so she would just walk around the house. She was able to hide what was going on from others but only for so long. Symptoms emerged such as her feeling cold all of the time, loss of sleep, and a very low heart rate. She felt like she still needed to lose weight and had already lost 50 pounds. By the time the school year ended, Emily weighed 96 pounds and was urged by her pediatrician, Dr. Cindy Porter, to enter the hospital. She was told if she didn’t enter a program right away she would not have long to live. It was in May of 2018 when she left for Children’s Health in Plano for an inpatient program which lasted approximately two months.

At first Emily resisted going into treatment for her eating disorder, recalling she was in denial about her health and how sick she was becoming. But with the strong support of her family, she went to begin treatment. Emily’s mother, Stephanie Hawkins, and her father, Jeremy Meunier, were by her side, taking turns staying nearby at the Ronald McDonald House. A typical day in the hospital involved both group and individual therapy, routine meal and snack times, and visiting with dieticians and other nutrition specialists. Emily says that while being inpatient she learned so much, and not just about anorexia but other eating disorders as well. She was alongside other patients her age, as well as those who were older and younger. She made friends there who she still remains in touch with today. These peers were able to identify with her on the feelings and behaviors they dealt with and how to focus on healing and learning new ways of thinking.

This photo of Emily’s back, taken August 12, 2018, shows the toll that her eating disorder took on her body. Since she was obsessed with how her body looked, Emily would take body check photos often during her battle with anorexia.

Emily says that her time spent in the hospital was a very positive experience overall and one she learned from. Sometimes that isn’t the case with many patients, as others she met had been in the hospital several times and unsuccessful in recovery. Emily adjusted to the schedule which involved being busy throughout the day keeping record of her caloric intake and staying motivated to feel better. She could visit with family every evening, and they were able to visit on weekends. During the week her dad stayed nearby which was a big comfort to her. Her mom was there as well on weekends, and the three of them were able to learn about anorexia so they could continue to help Emily after treatment was completed. After her inpatient stay, Emily remained in Plano for an outpatient program which lasted another month and a half. Over the three-month period, Emily learned all about her condition, specifically focusing on the emotions and struggles which accompany anorexia.

She admits it was hard adjusting to life back at home after treatment but she relied on help from family and friends for support. For the first six weeks of her sophomore year, she was homeschooled and did not feel ready to return to school. She also was in touch weekly with a dietician via virtual conference call. By the middle of that year, she felt stronger and more established with her eating habits. She shares that it was hard at first, as she struggled with changing her mentality, particularly when it came to food, exercise, and feeling better about herself. Many with this condition can relapse fairly easily. What helped Emily was changing the way she thought about herself since self-image is the driving factor in anorexia. She remembers being very hungry for a long time, experiencing “extreme hunger,” common for those in recovery. Also during this time her body was trying to rebalance her hormones. Being undernourished for so long wreaks havoc on the body overall, so she experienced some trouble with acne and facial bloating. An important lesson she first learned in recovery is that of eating and exercising wisely. Emily says, “I realized it’s okay to gain weight and get healthy. I changed my thinking to where I exercised for health and enjoyment not to burn off what I ate.”

Emily (center) with her aunt, Lori Rochelle; cousin, Olivia Rochelle; grandmother, Paula Hawkins; and mother, Stephanie Hawkins, during the Pleasant Grove Academic Award ceremony when Emily was right in the middle of battling her eating disorder.

Emily began to gain weight and feel confident with the changes her body was undergoing. The strong urge to control what she ate and overcome hunger before involved an inner voice (referred by inpatients as a persona named “Ed”). Emily shares that those suffering with eating disorders have to learn to understand and quiet the voice which previously dominated their self-image and desire to keep losing weight. She also learned how the illness is a process of learning to love and accept one’s self. The lack of self-love and body dysmorphia results in the obsession with physical appearance and strict control of eating habits. Emily adds, “You are more than your physical appearance. Don’t put your idea of self-worth on other people and their opinions of you.” Various resources were helpful as she has moved forward in her journey. Emily recalls watching YouTube videos like those of Jen Brett who documented their own recovery with eating disorders and share with others. Another book she recommends is “Life Without Ed” by Jenni Schaefer.

Now Emily is healthy, strong, and optimistic about what lies ahead. She remains encouraged and looks forward to her senior year and college to follow. She knows that her struggle is one she will always have to deal with, and her past experience inspires her to help others. She hopes to become a psychologist or therapist working with teenagers afflicted with mental illness. When asked what she could share with other girls her age going through what she experienced she responds with, “What you see on social media is not real. It doesn’t matter what your body type is. Don’t try to change yourself to please others. Just love yourself for who you are.” With an empathetic and warm demeanor this is wise advice from a young lady who is confident and happy with who she is and who she wants to be.

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A Strong Finish