Marriage is Not a Destination; It is a Journey

by JEFF HART

Jeff and Kristi  in Oahu, Hawaii

I love to post pictures of my wife and me on social media. I always call her “my bride.” Technically speaking, she is not a bride. That is a woman who gets married on a wedding day. But I will say until the day that I die that she is my bride! What we have, honestly, is an absolutely, completely incredible God-ordained relationship that is far better than I ever, ever imagined that marriage could be. I promise you with all my heart, my bride is my best friend. I would rather be with her than anybody in the world!

Before you gag at our Hallmark love story, that’s just part of it. What we have in our marriage is a journey; it is not a destination. In other words, we have not arrived, and that is all that we ever have. What we also have are challenges, hardships, and struggles to overcome.  I had to realize that love is an unconditional commitment to selflessly serve, truthfully communicate, fearlessly protect, gracefully forgive, compassionately heal, and enduringly remain in relationship with and for the sake of another. 

One thing I have learned in 31 years of marriage is that a husband and wife must support each other in everything. A husband and wife must function like two wings on the same bird. They must work together in partnership or the marriage will never get off the ground. People always ask us the secret to surviving 31 years of marriage, and the answer has always been the same. God must be first in both of our lives. The more you love God, the more capacity you will have to love each other. In a Christ-centered marriage, Jesus is your one, and your spouse is your two.

Matthew 22:36-37 says, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”

Kristi and I have had the opportunity to counsel many couples over the years, and we always tell them that “divorce” is never an option. The vows you say before God are a covenant commitment before God. So, we all must remove the exit strategies! A “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 1 Corinthians 13:7

Jeff and Kristi were married in 1989, and to this day, he still calls her “my bride.”

If you are reading this and are not married, if you want a Christ-centered marriage in the future, then start living a Christ-centered life now! Seek out those that have marriages that have stood the test of time for advice. Our marriage mentors have taught us about submitting to one another, forgiving one another, honoring one another, respecting one another, and serving one another. This also includes praying together and for one another. The family that prays together stays together. I encourage you to pray for your spouse every day. You may say, “I do not know what to pray?” My advice is to keep it simple. Here is a prayer I pray every day:

“Dear God. Give us wisdom and clear direction in all we do today. Help us to show Your love to each other and shine Your light into the world. Keep us close to You, away from temptation, and always in Your will. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Remember, marriage is not a destination; it is an ongoing journey. Sharing that journey with my best friend is the best decision, I have ever made, other than accepting Christ as my Savior! That is why she will always be “My Bride.”